大象传媒

When my oldest son, now nearly 13, was born in July of 2008, I thought I could easily balance my career and my desire to be far more engaged at home than my father and his generation were. I was wrong.

Almost immediately, I noticed how social policies, schools, and health care systems all make it difficult for dads to be highly involved and engaged at home. Contradictory expectations about work and family life abound.

As a  with four kids of my own, I am convinced that fathers are transformative figures for children, families, and communities.

But a man鈥檚 mere presence, paycheck, and willingness to punish misbehaving children is not nearly enough. Many of the benefits of fathering for children come from dads being nurturing, loving, and engaged in all aspects of parenting.

When fathers are caregivers鈥攚hen they provide emotional support and act affectionately toward their kids鈥攖he effects go well beyond growth, development, good health, and solid grades. My research shows the benefits also include having children who value emotional intelligence, gender equality, and healthy competition.

Nurturing Versus Stoic Dads

Thinking about the broad impact fathers have, I analyzed how fathering affects different social values鈥攕uch as a belief in gender equality鈥攊n May 2021.

Surveying more than 2,500 American fathers 18 and older, I found that involved fathering has a long-lasting impact on the personal principles and cultural perspectives of children.

In my survey, the differences between the least nurturing and the most nurturing fathers are stark.

Surveyed fathers who reported that their own fathers were highly withdrawn tended to be hypercompetitive, emotionally stoic, and unappreciative of women鈥檚 contributions outside the home.

In contrast, surveyed fathers who said they had highly nurturing dads were much more likely to achieve their goals in a healthy manner, be more emotionally open, and believe in equitable partnership.

How Dads Instill Values

Several decades ago, many fathers  to provide their children with emotional support or physical care. Instead, they focused on breadwinning, children鈥檚 discipline, and simply being present in the home.

These traditional norms left many contemporary fathers ill-equipped for modern parenthood. Contemporary social norms set : rule enforcement and economically supporting the family while also providing for children鈥檚 physical and emotional needs.

Broad paternal involvement with kids is important, because dads have unique effects on kids. Children鈥檚 values, beliefs, emotional expression, and social development are . Kids are  when their fathers are .

Boys, for better and worse, often mirror the habits, interests, and values of their own fathers.

My colleague  and I found that how one鈥檚 father behaves is  given that cultural, social, and institutional norms about fatherhood are much weaker than they are for motherhood.

For example, mothers have traditionally been known for showing children affection and providing emotional support. Social expectations for these behaviors are not well-defined among fathers. As a result, dads have a much larger impact on their sons鈥� fathering behaviors than moms have on their daughters鈥� mothering behaviors.

Positively, this means that a sizable portion of men replicate the best attributes of their own fathers鈥攕uch as being loving and affectionate. Negatively, this means bad behaviors鈥攕uch as extremely harsh discipline鈥攁re sometimes repeated across generations.

However, some men compensate for their own fathers鈥� poor or nonexistent parenting by  about parenting.

Benefits for All

The findings from my survey build on  on the . And these advantages aren鈥檛 just for children.

Mothers and other parenting partners are  when fathers are highly engaged with their kids. Men who care for and support their kids benefit too鈥攚ith improved . And  increased trust and safety from the relationships built when fathers positively participate in their kids鈥� activities, schooling, and social networks.

Valuing Supportive Fathers

How can American society ensure that healthy competition, emotional openness, and respect for women are widespread among future generations of men and fathers? Part of the answer is by .

That means more support for fathers in workplaces, public policy, and institutions. , , and  are all effective ways to encourage fathers to be more involved.

Many fathers increased their share of child care tasks . These shifts may become permanent, ultimately changing cultural values around parenting and gender roles.

Society also needs to provide clearer messaging to fathers about what does and does not work in parenting. For example, my colleagues and I have shown that men who believe they should be nurturing parents are  in their children鈥檚 lives. Fathers who demonstrate healthy masculine traits, like assertiveness and strong goal orientation, also tend to be sensitive, engaged parents.

Thus, there are many routes to transformative fathering. And this is not simply behavior for biological fathers. Fatherhood is broadly defined, and people often look to nonbiological father figures, like relatives, stepfathers, foster fathers, and unrelated mentors.

All men who support and care for children have a critical role to play in instilling positive social values in future generations.

This article was originally published by . It has been published here with permission.